Mrs. Parimala L.K – Seshadripuram Public School |Effective Principals 2023

Over-protectiveness and restrictiveness affect children’s behaviour

Protect your child. Safeguard your child. Be possessive of your child. But teach your child to be confident, capable, and competent. There are always two sides to an argument. Weighing the benefits and drawbacks of excessive protection, I am examining the drawback of being overly protective. Overly protective parents stop their kids from experiencing and enjoying the typical things of childhood; as a result, these kids always depend on other people and seek out help from their friends, relatives, and teachers. They first experience anxiety, a lack of confidence, and low self-esteem when they cannot find shelter. Ben Shaw, the lead researcher, said that “Allowing children the freedom to go out in their local area unaccompanied has been found to be important for their health and mental and social development.” The studies have also shown that youngsters in Germany, Finland, Norway, and Sweden were all found to have greater freedom than those in England. Indian parents are believed to be overprotective of their children, which is good. The positive side of parenting in India is focused more on instilling family values due to the importance of discipline and holistic development. Parents’ guide their children in all aspects of life.

But the child is impacted by the overly possessive and controlling nature of some Indian parents. They are denied the ability to be independent and make even the slightest decisions in their lives.

I have encountered a few incidents in my professional experience. I do recall one of my students who always yearned for freedom from constraints. The boy was upset because his parents had meddled excessively in all his schoolwork. I gradually saw that he lacked confidence, and a little time later I discussed that he had many personality disorders, including narcissism, arrogance, and a refusal to accept responsibility. For adults, the issue may seem straightforward. The boy, however, had to deal with the pressure of others around him. His mother dropped him off at the classroom drop-off step and picked him up at the door. In his teens, his parents insisted on being by his side at every turn, offering to help him cross the street and even suggesting potential friends.

This portion of his future story struck me as odd. His desire to learn how to ride a bicycle when he was seven years old, led him to get injured in that process. Therefore, the father donated the cycle. Unbelievably, the child had not mastered cycling until today. He secretly picked up biking from a friend after his graduation. One day, when he returned home with scratches on his arm and sprained legs, the lid on this secret was lifted. Have we, as parents, unfolded our eyes, not wanting to see what is uncomfortable to see?

Now let us look at the other side of the coin. The benefit of an overprotective child is that they are well-mannered, disciplined, and academically ahead of others.  Instead of preventing children from expressing themselves, we should strike a balance between ‘concern’ and ‘overprotection.’ One should raise a child with love and utmost care during the initial five years, followed by maintaining strict discipline during the next 10 years. After the child reaches sixteen years of age, he should be treated like a friend.

 4,380 total views