What’s Lost When Children are rushed through Childhood?

Most of us have felt at least once, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I could be a kid again, without all the stress of my job and the pressure to succeed?” But, did you ever consider that many kids today are feeling the same stress that adults feel?
In a culture that emphasizes success, children are bombarded daily to grow up too quickly. They are pressured to learn to read and count even before they can walk; to outperform the other kids in their kindergarten class; to be self-sufficient, productive, and disciplined. This rushed childhood creates undue stress that many psychologists believe can have devastating effects.
Many people work with the belief that earlier is better but you just can’t start kids too soon on the road to success. Whether we’re talking about academics or athletics (or walking or talking), this idea has become deeply ingrained in our society. But where has it come from? Why are parents being bombarded with the terrifying misconception that if they don’t give their little ones a jumpstart on the “competition,” their children will fall behind and end up as miserable failures?
Many parents seek to create “super kids,” pressuring their children into becoming premature adults and making them overly competitive. Ironically, in their eagerness to create an academic prodigy, overzealous parents often create an underachiever. When these children fail to live up to their parent’s expectations (which are often unrealistic and created by media hype), the children become so anxiety- ridden that they cannot perform.
We need, of course, to pay attention to academic growth. It’s one thing for a child to be below grade level or to be on a trajectory toward catching up over the next couple of years. It’s a fundamentally different situation when a child is virtually flat-lining in his progress or is making such slow growth that if he continues at that rate, he won’t become a proficient reader in time to acquire the content and confidence he’ll need to thrive in school. But I see children begin to define themselves by test scores, grades, and how quickly they are leapfrogging from one level to the next.
The work of sustaining a gradual miracle requires patience. Happy children will be able to do much more than the ones who are being pressurized. After all, children are not vases to be filled but they are lamps to be kindled.

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